Bengali wedding-

Before any ceremonies begin there must be an in-depth look at the ancestral lineage of both groom and bride (Bangsas). This is to make sure that there are no links between families (Gotra). The Purohit, which is the priest, must be present in this ritual to make sure there has been no crossing of the lineage in order to give proper blessing to the bride and groom during the ceremony.  After it has been discovered that both families have not crossed lines (being wed to a family member), the Patri Patra will take place.

The Purohit will arrive at the home of either the groom, then the bride (or vice-versa).  With him will be an idol of Lord Narayana.
Once he performs his ritual with the bridegroom or bride, the family will bless the other in the presence of him. This concludes the Patri Patra.

The day before the wedding, is devoted to the ancestors of the two families, this is called Virdhi Puja. A festive day filled with remembrance and a touch of color through Rangoli all the while worshiping Lord Narayana.  An uncle of the bride or groom must conduct the Virdhi Puja, if you want to stay devoted to tradition. During this time it is also believed that fasting on a liquid diet will be the offering to Narayana in an attempt make sure the couple obtains the most prosperity.

Care to wake up at dawn? Well in this ceremony (Dodhi Mangal) the day of the wedding starts exactly at dawn with the bride and groom bathing in water fetched from a local pond or lake. The water can only be taken out of the pond /lake by ten married women, ensuring the bride and groom a secure and positive unity as the water they bath in comes from women who have solid marriages. As the bathing is complete the lavish feast begins. The liquid fasting is complete and now the couple can indulge their taste buds with fried fish, rice, and much more.

Prior to the brides turmeric ceremony the grooms’ family sends gifts to her home (Gae Halud Tattva).  These gifts are a mixture of fruits, sweets, fish, paan, rice, durba, and six saris for the bride and her mother.  A relative is chosen from the grooms’ family to bring these gifts. He/she approaches the brides’ home with a large gathering of family to bestow these gifts upon the bride. The servants are welcomed by the brides’ family with the blowing of conch shells, and thus rewarded sweets for their journey. The bride then repeats the ritual by sending gifts to the groom.  These gifts Mirror the Halud Tattva and the ceremony is called Adhibas Tattva.

In the early to mid afternoon the couple will be given yet another scared bath (Snan), but this one will be done individually.  This ritual is performed by a few of the married women from either side of the family; they will apply turmeric and oil to the hair and body of the bride and groom.  Once this is complete the families will hand the bride/groom new clothes to wear as this signifies new beginnings. It is also customary for the bride to wear conch shell bangles once she has put on her new sari.

As the actual ceremony begins the groom and his family approach the brides home. Once they have arrived at the door the blowing of conch shells begins as the brides’ family welcomes him.  When he approaches the door an elderly woman from the brides’ side blesses the baraan dala, and proceeds to escort him to the mandap (wedding canopy adorned with flowers, and fruits and pillared by banana trees. Its thought that the planting of two banana trees will promote a prosperous life and help give blessings for a fertile marriage). The Shubho Drishti Ritual is now able to commence.

The bride is carried to the Mandap while sitting on her Piri (a chair that has been decorated). But she is not allowed to view her husband just yet, so she must cover her eyes with a Betel leaf. Prior to being placed in front of her husband, she is rotated 7 times. At this point she is able to peek at her husband as they are now face to face for the first time during the ceremony.  This concludes the Shubho Drishti Ritual, but begins the Mala Badal Ceremony.  While the Purohit is busy chanting the ritual to begin the wedding ceremony the bride and groom exchange flowers three times. This marks the first time they would have laid eyes on each other.

Saat Paak & Sampradhan is the last process of the actual wedding. The bride is lifted by her brothers and given away by her uncle. While carrying her, they walk around her husband 7 times to signify their unity. This takes place as her husband starts to chant along with the Purohit. Once this is complete they are now man and wife.

The next set of rituals happens over the span of a few days, the first being the Bidaai. As the woman is now expected to leave her maternal home she does so with great sorrow. This ritual is very deep. As the woman leaves the home throwing rice behind her to signify she has paid back all her debts to her parents and wishes them prosperity, it also is a statement to them that she must go to be prosperous with her new husband.

Once the bride has left her maternal home the rituals continue.  Before she can step foot in her new home with her husband she must dip her feet in a Thali that is filled with milk and red dye. Once her feet have marked the floor of her new home, her sister-in law (or a woman relative of the groom) will hand her red and ivory bangles. Upon accepting those as gifts she will also receive a metal bangle that she will wear for the rest of her life. These gifts symbolize her new union as a married woman (Basar Ghar).

The following morning the couple returns to the mandap where they meet with the Purohit. Together they prey to the Sun God (this is known as the Bashi Biye).  There are a few more traditions that take place to help the new bride feel comfortable in her new home, and to make sure the new union is filled with prosperity and happiness.

The Muslim wedding, or Nikah, is a ceremony celebrated over the course of a few days and could last up to a week. Prior to the wedding, the bride-to-be and groom along with the religious head take part in Istikhara.  This ritual asks the Almighty for guidance and direction to make sure the soon to be bride and groom are headed down the right path.  It will also serve the as the confirmation the religious head needs in order to proceed with the act of marriage (or not).

Once the ceremony is granted the grooms’ mother visits the brides’ house barring gifts of sweets along with an Imam-Zamin (Gold or Silver coin wrapped in a silk cloth for good luck). Once this aspect of the ceremony has taken place, the grooms’ entire family meets the brides’ family to exchange gifts of fruits & sweets (this is called the Magni).

The bride-to-be has yet a few more ceremonies she needs to partake in before the actual wedding.  A day or two before the big day, the Manjha ceremony will begin. Dressed in yellow the bride will be anointed with a paste made from turmeric.  Unmarried women can only apply this paste to her.  It is thought that this paste will create a natural glow of the skin to make her more presentable on her wedding day. Mehndi is the last aspect to this pre-marriage ritual. Unmarried women apply the henna to the bride, or a professional henna designer will be asked to do so. Within the intricate details of the design the grooms’ name is hidden for him to find. Once this is applied to the woman she cannot leave her home until the wedding day.

On the day of the wedding the groom comes in a Baraat, this is like his personal parade. Upon approaching the brides’ home or banquette venue the baraati (grooms family and friends) start to play traditional music and dance.

As the initial stages of the baraat come to an end, the Nikaah begins.  This aspect of the ceremony is where the two individuals unite as one.  The father of the bride and groom are addressed as Walis. The Maulvi performs the ceremony as he reads passages from the Quran. The groom asks when the Maulvi is finished reading from the Quran the formal proposal. He sends over to the bride and her family his proposal and awaits her decision, this is known as Ijab-e-Qubul. There is much importance made on the mutual consent of both bride and groom.

During the course of this day, the elders from both sides come together and speak about the Mehar that will be given to the bride.  This nuptial gift will be presented from the grooms’ family and must be paid to the bride.

As the Nikaah comes to an end the Nikaahnama must be signed by the Walis, the Maulvi, and the bride and husband to be a legal contract of their wedding.

The last three ceremonies to take place happen over the course of 4 days past the Nikaah.  The first is when the mother in-law welcomes the new bride when she enters her new home. She places her hands up high holding the Quran to bless her as she walks through the front door.  The second is the Chauthl, on the fourth day the bride visits her parental home. And lastly the reception made to welcome the new bride into the grooms’ family. This festivity helps both sides become more interwoven with each other and its purpose is to help facilitate intimate relationships between both families, better known as the Vallmah ceremony.